I think I’ve got this parenting thing down.

Actual text conversation between my daughter and me…  Well, “actual” except where I corrected the grammar and spelling…  I couldn’t help myself.


Daughter:  Can I spend the night at Chelsea’s?

Me:  Maybe.  I don’t know her very well.  Where does she live?

Daughter:  By Karyn

Me: What is her home situation?  Parents?  Siblings?  Vicious pets?

Daughter:  Both parents and a younger brother.

Me: Ask Chelsea to answer the following questions…

Me: “Partying” is

    A. cool.
    B. lame.
    C. something that should be reminiscent of a Disney musical number and not involve alcohol or drugs.

Daughter:  she said “C”.

Me: “Sex” is

    A. a beautiful thing between married people.
    B. something I look forward to when I’m in college or older.
    C. what the tattoo on my butt says.

Daughter:  She says “A”.

Me: “Driving” is

    A. a privilege.
    B. something I do so well I can steer with my feet.
    C. an opportunity to emulate Evel Knievel.

Daughter:  She says “A”.

Me: When my parents tell me I can’t do something, I

    A. obey their wishes.
    B. negotiate for a different answer.
    C. do it anyway; what they don’t know won’t hurt them.

Daughter:  She says “B”.

Me: The most important things are

    A. God and country.
    B. friends and family.
    C. sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll.

Daughter:  She says “A” and “B” together.

Me: She has passed the test.  You may progress to the next level of friendship and spend the night.


Leave a Reply