Snakes and Ladders… uh… Tires

Between my sweetheart and I, we get a lot of flat tires. (The “Road Hazard Insurance” that tire places offer is actually a winning proposition for us.) Recently we got another one, when ironically we were hauling a trailer full of tires. These had been taken away from a site where he was setting up a new manufactured home. While he was changing the tire and I was attempting to be helpful while still staying out of the way, I noticed the name brand on the mobile home tires: HOMASTER.

Wow. There are so many jokes wrapped up in that I’m at a loss to pick just one.

Puerile humor aside, this reminded me of another occasion when I had a flat tire, this time on Big Bertha (our Ford F250). My friend’s husband was helping me change it as it was not an easy tire change and her kids were playing with the flat tire, rolling it along in the field next to where we were working. Suddenly, he started scolding them in an angry voice, telling them to stop playing with the tire. I tried to assure him that it was OK. After all, they couldn’t really hurt it since it was already flat and it was keeping them busy. But he continued to chastise them. “What if that tire’s flat because a rattle snake bit it! You could get cut with a fang and die from snake venom!” Now, if he had been joking, I would have thought that this was a clever yarn to tell the kids, but he was one-hundred-percent serious. The kids laid down the tire with apologies and hang-dog expressions, while I stifled a laugh that threatened to insult the person who was here to aid me in my hour of need.

I am really tempted to send this one in to “MythBusters” and see if they can prove that

A. A snake could puncture a truck tire resulting in a flat, and
B. It is possible to be injected with snake venom and die from a fang left in a flat tire.

I find both portions of this scenario highly unlikely.

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