At my day job we have a fairly relaxed dress code. Pretty much as long as your hoo-hoo and your cha-cha-dilly aren’t hanging out and you’re wearing shoes, you’re good to go. Heck, no one will probably say anything if you show up barefoot, actually. Today, one of our trainees who’s been here all of a few days, is pushing the envelope on work attire.
She arrived today wearing a tiny little blue dress that is so tight (HOW TIGHT IS IT!?) that if she had a pimple on her ass you would be able to see it. It is so tight that she can barely walk. If she took a step more than six inches long, the dress would ride up over her hips within a few strides.
It looks something like this, but much, much worse.
Her shortened gait may also be caused be the heels she is wearing, which rival the architecture of the Golden Gate Bridge in their height and majesty. Perhaps she moonlights as a ballet dancer and is using these heels to strengthen her toes for dancing on pointe.
There are several theories being bandied about as to why she may have chosen this particular ensemble for her work day.
1. She is going out to a club later and didn’t want to change after work.
2. She went to a club last night and didn’t have time to change before work.
3. She has designs on one of her fellow trainees and is subtlety-impaired.
4. She is hoping to get fired and collect unemployment, or maybe just tips tucked into her cleavage.
5. She was mauled by a bear and the dress is acting as a tourniquet.
Apparently someone said something to her, as she changed partway through the day into jeans. She is now wearing the dress as just a shirt.