Causalities in the War Against Tooth Decay

Sometimes it’s the little things that really get under your skin, and nothing is more cliché than the battle over the toothpaste.  My children seem to wish to torture me by squishing the toothpaste from the middle and leaving the cap off.

You might think that I’m just being persnickety, but there is a significant reason why this sort of thing bothers me beyond your garden variety OCD.  My eyesight is very poor, and when I am getting ready in the morning and have neither my glasses nor my contacts on yet, I rely on my things to be in the right place and in the right state so that I can find them by braille.  Nothing ruins your morning quite like picking up the toothpaste, only to have the unattached cap skip across the counter and fall behind the toilet.

I’ve made several attempts at persuading them toward a change in behavior.  I’ve bought them their own toothpaste, but they still use mine.  I’ve hidden it in a box of tampons, but they always find it.  I’ve put friendly Post-It notes on the mirror, asking them to “Be kind.  Replace the cap,” and “Toothpaste is your friend.  Don’t mangle the tube,” to no avail.  So, I decided that a threat, no matter how ridiculous, was in order.

So far, so good.

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