And the Chickens Shall Inherit the Earth

Chickens are the greatest invention ever.  They will eat anything, and in the absence of having any food provided to them they will go all “Bear Grylls” and eat whatever they find.  They would probably drink their own pee too if their aim was good enough to hit a cup.

After a day of eating bugs (including spiders for which they should be awarded a medal), weeds, scraps and chicken feed, they produce an egg.  Each egg is a super-module containing every vitamin (except C), as well as essential protein, and awesome yumminess.  By the way, the saying “chicken feed”, meant to indicate that something is inexpensive is totally accurate.  Pound for pound, it is by far the least expensive animal feed I have ever had to buy. And even so, they’re not picky. Chickens will eat cat food, dog food, sheep food, pig food, horse food, rabbit food, fish food, bird food, and of course people food… and they have eaten each of these from time to time in our coop without a single complaint.

My chickens are the “Ameracauna” breed, which means that they lay green eggs.  How freakin’ cool is that!  My chickens say, “Who needs Paas Easter egg dye!?  We’ve got colored eggs coming out of our cloacae, mothah $#%#@!”

When the zombie apocalypse comes, I am totally moving the chickens into the house before I board up the windows and fortify the doors.  While the rest of the world is dodging zombie hickeys and fighting over the last box of Cheerios at the Mini-Mart, we’ll be dining on omelets and deviled eggs.

Leave a Reply