Here are just a few of my personal favorites. Submissions of additional entries will be accepted and posted with a snarky chuckle.
Pulse [puhls] n. a measurement of the pissed-quotient of the work force.
Blamestorming [bleyhm stawrm-ing] n. The follow up meeting where the person who has the fewest political and social alliances is agreed to be at fault for every failure.
Come To Jesus Meeting [kuhm too jee-zuhs mee-ting] n. A hostile meeting orchestrated by incompetent management to interrogate a clueless subordinate.
Low Hanging Fruit [loh hang-ing froot] n. The portion of your project you should be ashamed for not already having completed.
Throw Under the Bus [throh uhn-der thee buhs] v. A corporate maneuver performed on a repeated basis like calisthenics that requires one to blame a peer and distance oneself from an error, similar in awkwardness to a squat thrust.
“Please advise.” [pleez ad-vahyz] phrase The ultimate way to shift responsibility to someone else, by forwarding an email and asking them for their recommendation.
Level the Playing Field [lev-uhl thee pley-ing feeld] v. An action aimed at equalization that results in pissing off high performers and allowing low performers to continue to hide in the weeds.
Outside the Box [out-sahyd thee boks] adj. Describes radical ideas based solely on common sense. Great sources for this sort of thinking are kindergarteners and autistic savants.
Hit the Ground Running [hit thee ground ruhn-ing] v. At the start of a new job, or a new task, immediately making intelligent and significant contributions, despite not having a clue what the hell is going on.
SME [smee] n. “Subject Matter Expert” or the person who uses the greatest percentage of corporate speak and polysyllabic words to explain a given concept.